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Tuesday, December 17, 2013

More comments on children and behaviour

To the schools who provide Life Skills classes for our children, perhaps it might be a good idea to include the parents in a few key classes in the curriculum. It seems that a lot of parents have missed those important lessons about life along the way.
The only things I can suggest:
 1) sport in the holidays, even if the schools allow the parents to use the sports fields and facilities during the holidays.( The parents need to supervise and do this, unless they are prepared to pay some one to do it)
 2) Organize a Boot Camp, Or a Security guard training centre. ( no weapons necessary) just straight, self defense, and discipline.
 I don't agree with this so called GAP year. Our youngsters, should go straight into an apprenticeship, go to College or Varsity, and get their education completed before they are let loose.
Don't send your youngsters overseas, without any sort of work training, many of them never make it and end up on the streets. If they go overseas, they need to get work ASAP.
What we Zimbabweans need to do, is  have an agency here in Zimbabwe and an agency in Australia, New Zealand, UK, and America that will recruit young people to do work in those countries.
IE: ( Harvesting, and working on farms,) so if they do go overseas, they sign up with the agency, and that agency, finds them suitable employment and accommodation before they leave.( Similar to how the Care agencies operate ) Maybe more training centres here in Zimbabwe are needed, for basic training, in care work, harvesting, packaging, bar work, waitering, domestic work, etc.
Basic training and experience, always helps when, looking for employment, it often gives one a foot in the door.
Lets name the children and the schools they do to, how do we address this issue by talking in general all the time. We are not achieving anything by not mentioning specific children and the schools they go to. Theo
What are you disgusted about?  Not being legally allowed to beat your child is ridiculous, is that what you are advocating?  My three kids have all had a couple of thrashings each growing up, and I've never had to do it again, thank goodness, because it was awful.  If they are ever disrespectful enough or breach any of my hard and fast rules they will get another as well. 
Are you suggesting that if a bunch of twenty year olds assault an older man or a younger boy and put them in a coma because "they were drunk and just having some fun"  that you sit down and teach them about love and kindness!! Pull yourself together,
how naive are you?
I'm accepting that maybe someone went wrong when they were growing up but you now need to fight fire with fire.   I sincerely hope my boys or any of my friends are not on the receiving end of any of these beatings because something will be done about it. These boys/young men have to learn the consequences of their actions, and their parents need to get some major flak as well.  This is a sickness that needs to be stamped out with finality. All those good things that you are talking about need to be put in place during the formative years, but sometimes the reality is they don't actually work.  Then the culprits need to learn a monumentally painful lesson that it is not acceptable in our community, end of story.  What difference does it make whether you are a Christian or not as to what your opinion is and whether it should add any legitimacy to what is not a great argument.   I read with interest the one guy that got hit and settled for a $15 000 payment.  I think he (and the rest of us!!!!) missed an opportunity to show how we feel about this. 12 months in the slammer was just what this guy needed.  
Ex non practicing Christian and definitely no better or worse than you!!
I feel very strongly about stamping out bullies, in school and out of school.  In the instances that have been described below and previous readers comments I don’t think it is Bulling anymore.  It has gone one step further, if not stopped by the proper channels, the law, the culprits will go further and further.   These culprits are school boys they should be reported to the schools concerned and thus can be kept under a certain amount of supervision by various staff members.  With the parents and the schools involved to work through a program to get these children back on the right path before it’s too late for them.  Possibly attending some form of Life Skill classes.  As they obviously missed the previous sessions. I think it is only correct that the schools concerned where these violent pupils attend, keep them watched and they receive no rewards, i.e. prefects, colours etc only the privilege of an education.  The victim must be thanked for his compassion towards these violent children. Hope these children and their parents take note of the second chance they have been given and change the direction their lives are going in.
Regarding the bullying although this discussion relates to boy gangs. I spent the most of Grade 7 with my daughter being bullied by a child who s dad was in with the SDC getting things done etc.
The daughter with a gang bullied mine for 8 mths including sending terrible sms es saying she was ugly etc.We approached the school and a talk was done that had no effect on the perpetrators.Eventually when depression set in and my child became introvert and lost her appetite I told the school she d be removed and was going to write to the board.Suddenly the bullies were dealt with.but all the girls were called in.Although i gave the names of the bullies.the school would not deal with them face to face.I disagree that its not the schools problem.Our children spend the most time at school and this is where it all starts. Zimbabwe schools are just wishy washy in dealing with it.they shld switch on and realise bullying leadd to low self esteem and sadly suicide in some cases.PROTECT OUR CHILDREN.
What I meant when I said schools should get involved was that pupils from each school are ambassadors for that particular school. I remember when at Falcon College in the 90's the Headmaster would ask the parents to work within the framework of the school rules even in the holidays. This was a brilliant line of thinking as a pupils bad behaviour in the holidays also had a negative impact on publicity for the school. And a pupil could/would be disciplined for his indiscretions during a holiday/break, and likewise also commended for positive behaviour. (Of course providing the school found out about it in both cases). I think a positive step toward trying to bring such incidents into check would be to identify the culprits and the school which they belong to and name them.
I think parents should be more proactive in controlling their own kids. It seems that no one can say "NO" to their children anymore. And maybe that is the where the problem starts. A child of under 18 should not be seen or heard in any bar/nightclub environment for any reason. Those parents that allow it should wake up and say NO. 
Good morning sorry for the late response I have been away. Whilst away I always praise our youth in this country and to hear this is very disappointing to say the least.
We tend to pussy foot around the real solution which I believe for starters name and shame those involved. By not doing so we are only endangering other people who may find themselves in the company of these low life louts. How ashamed and disgusted their parents must feel.
It is so sad to hear these accounts of bullying etc.In this country we have always been proud of the fact that our young people are well mannered and respectable as compared to children in England and America. And often our children studying in other parts of the world have been commended for outstanding behaviour. What has changed?

1 comment:

  1. Falcon College did not have the 'brilliant' idea of cross over punishments from term to holiday, the idea is repugnant and sets up cross over of parental and school abuse - unlike you I do not make the assumption that parents (or schools) are automatically grand arbitrators of punishment and all to often it is later found that children are being treated inappropriately b both parties using the system to hide abuse. It's bad enough that schools like Falcon College have the power over children the do without idiots going and suggesting they should gain power over holidays too. And please stop saying our children are well mannered and respectable, it is a self propagated myth - white zimbabwean culture is built on violence and the removal of morality, our children are arrogant and violent, like most white zimbabweans - sweet as anthing when someone is looking but expose someone vulnerable and they will attack like rabid dogs. White Zimbabweans need to get over themselves, you are not nice people and you train your children into violence - you have abuse and violence problems because it is who you are.